BASICS OF NVC

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INCLUSIVE COMMUNICATION PART 1: NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION

I often get asked, “where should my [insert organization] start with DEI?” Years ago, I suggested bias training. These days, I suggest focusing on interpersonal relationships. Why? It is much more difficult to implement DEI within an organization (or create a healthy work culture)  if there has been no intentional focus on interpersonal relationships within the organization. That’s where nonviolent communication comes in:

WHAT IS NVC?

The NVC process was developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg in the 1960s. NVC is “a unique and powerful process for inspiring compassionate connection and action. It provides a framework and set of skills to address a wide range of concerns, from the most intimate relationships to global political conflicts” (Source: PuddleDancer Press). As opposed to violent communication, which includes dehumanizing communication or coercing other people to get your way in a particular situation.

BASICS OF NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION

Below is the 4-part model of NVC and a sample script of how to implement each part of the process: 

1. Observations: Clearly state what you observed/experienced without blaming or criticizing. 

   “I observed/experienced___”

2. Feelings: Clearly state how you feel in relation to what you observed.

   “When___happens, I feel___”

3. Needs: Clearly state what you need that caused your feelings.

   “I need___to be effective/know what to expect/accomplish tasks…”

4. Requests: Clearly state concrete actions you would like taken without unnecessary emotion.

   “My request to you is___” OR “What I prefer is___”

By using NVC, you increase your emotional vocabulary and your connection to other people which ultimately helps improve your wellbeing as well as theirs.

TLDR: It’s hard to have an inclusive work culture if people do not have inclusive skills. Nonviolent communication is one of the skills that can be learned.

Want to learn more? Check out the full series:

Inclusive Communication Part 1: Basics of Nonviolent Communication

Inclusive Communication Part 2: Basics of Restorative Questioning

Inclusive Communication Part 3: Basics of Goal-Oriented Communication

Interested in an inclusive communication workshop? Send me a message and let’s connect.

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Until next time,

Your favorite Chief Diversity Officer,

Dr. B.